Divorce: the first step?
Choosing the right divorce procedure is the most important step after deciding to divorce.
Under the new divorce law (effective 1 September 2007) there are two divorce procedures:
- Divorce by mutual consent
- Divorce on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown of marriage
Which procedure is right for me?
- If you both agree to divorce, then divorce by mutual consent is the clear choice. With this option, you jointly reach agreements on your children, assets and home before you file the divorce procedure with the court.
- If one of you does not agree to the divorce, then you have two options:
1) You can try to get you and your partner to see eye to eye on the status of your relationship. Read more in the Relationship Guide at StartpuntScheiden
2) You can file a unilateral divorce petition with the court on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown of marriage.
Why a divorce by mutual consent?
Because with a divorce by mutual consent you both determine your own future before you start the actual divorce procedure. The advantage with this is that you can reach a balanced agreement and reduce the risk of an adversarial divorce.
A divorce by mutual consent is not the result of conflict, and as a result has multiple advantages:
- Divorce agreements based on mutual consent last longer.
- After the divorce, divorce agreements based on mutual consent are easier to change if necessary.
You both know the background to the original agreement.
- You minimise the chances of an adversarial divorce.
Can we draw up a divorce agreement based on mutual consent without third parties?
Yes, you can. In principle, you do not need a lawyer, notary or family mediator to divorce. In practice, however, it is very difficult to reach an agreement unless all information is readily to hand, outside interference is curbed, concerns take precedence over hard-and-fast positions, emotions are worked out so that discussions can proceed smoothly and so on. If you want an optimised divorce agreement based on mutual consent, then it is advisable to turn to an impartial third party.